The Father isn’t fair.

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth.  It would be easier to stop there.  We’re here now. Let’s make the most of it.  The thing is, if God made us in 6 days, but knew all along we’d rebel against Him, fall into sin, and drag His entire creation down with us…why would He do it in the first place? Why make us if He knew all this would happen?

Love.  Love needs an object. God is love, and that has consequence.  He made us in order to care for us.  That only raises harder questions.

What does this mean?

I believe that God has made me and all creatures; that He has given me my body and soul, eyes, ears, and all my members, my reason and all my senses, and still takes care of them.

He also gives me clothing and shoes, food and drink, house and home, wife and children, land, animals, and all I have. He richly and daily provides me with all that I need to support this body and life.He defends me against all danger and guards and protects me from all evil.

All this He does only out of fatherly, divine goodness and mercy, without any merit or worthiness in me. For all this it is my duty to thank and praise, serve and obey Him.

This is most certainly true.

Pick out the most important part of the explanation.  It’s hard to miss the giant list of stuff we’re supposed to have.  It would probably be the things in that list we want most.  It most certainly is the couple of things in there I don’t have, but someone else does.  If there is a loving God, why does it look like this? It’s not fair.

Usually when we deal with God we try to measure His favor by how much stuff we have.  Usually we come up short of the full list, either the Catechism’s or our own. It’s easy to find someone who has more than me. It’s easy to find reasons that’s not fair.

Love isn’t about what’s fair. If you’ve changed “Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” into “Come to me all who have their lives together and I will give you money”, there’s a reason your religion isn’t working.

The point of the article isn’t the list of things God gives you, it’s that He does it without any merit or worthiness in you.  It isn’t in the list, but the title.  I don’t believe in stuff.  I believe in the Father.  The Father isn’t fair.  That’s probably good. He loves you, and so He takes care of you as He knows best, without any merit or worthiness in you at all.

Claiming God can’t possibly be a loving God because He doesn’t give you everything you want is every bit as childish as a kid screaming in the store because his parents don’t buy him everything he wants.  It’s every bit as ridiculous as the kid going to school the next day and claiming his parents don’t love him or he’d have every toy and piece of candy he demanded.

Children of God isn’t a compliment, it’s a promise.  God loves you so much He insists on being your Father.  He loves you sinners without any merit or worthiness in you, and will take care of you as His own family.  Not because you’ve earned it. Not because it’s fair. Because He loves you.

This love doesn’t measure who earns. It just gives.  When sinners rebel against God and destroy the creation He loves, when they attack each other, the other kids who God loves, He’s allowed to be mad.  But this same love sends forth His only begotten Son to redeem you.  This same love would rather be in a world broken by sin with you than in a perfect heaven without you.  That isn’t fair, but it is good.

So He becomes your merit and worthiness. He sends His Son to redeem you, to earn not just your salvation, but even your care in this life by bearing all the same loss and suffering and death we fear so much. to bring you through it and unto life.  The Father sent the Son to die upon the cross that you may live.  And in doing so, He not only paid for your salvation, free from the damage sin does, but even paid for all that we need in this body and life, that He may dwell with us here until the day we finally see Him there.

I believe in God the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth.  I believe I have a Father who loves me so much that He’d rather be here with me in misery than in heaven without me, even if He has to pay the price for me to get me there. The Father isn’t fair, but He is love.

The Father isn’t fair.

we need Advent knights for today’s dragons.

While everyone else sings It’s The Most Wonderful Time of The Year, Advent seems to be the season where stodgy Lutherans list off all the things we refuse to acknowledge. No, you’re not allowed to sing Christmas hymns yet. I don’t care if there’s a nativity outside the church. Stop. Whatever you do, don’t mention rotund men in crimson crushed velvet or animals with illuminated noses without a trigger warning for your pastor.

Christians always have a habit of holding myths and stories at arm’s length. It gets worse in December, even though the only people not excited for the new Star Wars movie are wrong. Just wrong.

It used to be we were a little nervous around wizards named Harry. Before that, it was lions named Aslan. Oddly enough, both tell very Christian stories about salvation through death and resurrection. I wonder if we’re just trying to keep a firm handle on reality because reality already seems so farfetched. Advent in its proper sense only highlights it. Advent is the season of the church year where we celebrate a God who shows up for His people. The problem is, He always seems to do it in farfetched ways.

A child born of a virgin? He said He was going to return in glory very soon…2000 years ago? You mean that’s actually the very same body and blood of the very same Jesus that died on the cross for me in that piece of cardboard you keep calling bread and the bottom shelf wine? It’s easy to doubt a God like that in a world like this.

That’s actually why CS Lewis gave us the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. He said, “Since it is so likely that children will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage. Otherwise you are making their destiny not brighter but darker.”

Despite all the pretty lights, the world already looks pretty dark. Jesus points it out to us. The Advent readings tell us about nations in distress and people fainting with foreboding over what the world is coming to. They tell us about John the Baptist, stuck in prison, shaken, afraid, and doubting whether or not he made a huge mistake throwing in with Jesus. They tell us of a Jesus who calls His people to lift up their heads. Be not afraid. He promises us our redemption draws near. But I don’t see it. It’s honestly as easy to dismiss as snowmen with magic hats and corncob pipes.

CS Lewis was right, but according to Jesus, he was too late. We already believe in dragons. The problem is we’ve forgotten how to believe in knights. All our heroes are tragic, our leaders are villains, and our idols are idolaters. Hold up a picture of someone famous and we’ll find commandments broken a lot more often than virtues to be lauded.

We’re holding out for a hero, but we’re afraid to talk about them in Christian circles because we know they aren’t real. Everyone’s a sinner. There is no Hogwarts. Lions don’t talk. I wonder if we’re afraid kids might accidentally lump Jesus in with the fiction section and accidentally throw Him out with the idea that fae creatures will trade US currency for your baby teeth.

It’s scary, but Advent isn’t the season to talk about less. It’s the season that acknowledges just how awful we sinners have made this world and lifts up our heads to a God who loves us so much He’s unwilling to stand back from us in our need. Advent rejoices in all the ways God comes to us to help, save, and comfort. Jolly old St. Nicolas of Myra will ear-punch anyone who says otherwise. Seriously. Advent is the season of knights and heroes.

Advent is for John the Baptist to make straight the way of the Lord so boldly it will land him in jail. John is a hero, even if he is a sinner who eats weird food. He is not the Christ, but there is one coming after him who is. He is the scaffolding that is removed when the building is completed. He prepares the way.

The Lamb of God is coming to take away the sin of the world. Jesus took flesh to save. He is the true knight, born of a virgin to ride into Jerusalem on a donkey. The Son of God slays the old dragon by sacrificing Himself on the cross for you. Advent promises Christ will return to bring us out of this mess and into the glories of the life to come.

When people confused John for Jesus, he told them the truth. There is someone greater. There is a bigger picture. Tell stories of heroes, even if they are myths. Let them be scaffolding that holds up greater truths. There is a true hero, a crucified and risen knight who vanquished the devil. Let the heroes of myth fall away to show the truth of the savior.

Jesus says this world will pass away too. God will come again in glory on the last day. When he does, the scaffolding of this world will crumble and we will finally see what God was building all along. There will be a new heaven and a new earth. When God Advents, we see it.

Do we look foolish telling myths to our kids at home and then sitting them in front of a pulpit to hear Jesus preached to them? Only to a world that thinks He’s a myth too. Do it anyway. See them as shadows of a greater picture yet to be fully seen, and lift up your heads. Know that you have a hero who has already fought for you. He will come again to save you from a world falling apart. And even now, He’s here to rescue you. He comes in body and blood under bread and wine for you. Eat. Drink. Your redemption Advents. Your hero comes to save you.

we need Advent knights for today’s dragons.

there is no war on Christmas

The virgin birth has been a joke since God first told us about it. The Lord foretold it to Ahaz, a king so evil he could tell the average comic book supervillain to try harder. When he heard it, he just rolled his eyes. “Surely, I will not put the Lord to the test. I need no signs from you.”

It’s been the go-to one-liner ever since. If you ever want to roll your eyes just like Ahaz, just mention something about how Christians are dumb enough to believe in a religion that centers on a girl who got pregnant and lied about how it happened. It’s absurd how quick people are to impugn Mary’s dignity to preserve their own. They call her a liar and a whore so they can hide from guilt and keep doing what they do. That way they can tell themselves that there’s no God to judge them for their sins, and no reason to feel guilty. They’ll tell you that folks can still give gifts on Christmas. We can still spend time together. There better still be cookies, but they know better than to believe the virgin birth. “Surely, I will not put the Lord to the test. I need no signs from you.”

On the other hand, we believe that Jesus Christ, true God, begotten of the Father from eternity, and also true man, born of the Virgin Mary, is our Lord. We know the real reason for the season. But we’ve heard the same joke told so many times in so many ways that it gets under our skin.

That anger at those people who mock our beliefs mixes with the shame we hide deep down for secretly questioning the whole thing ourselves more than once. It mixes together into something all too familiar this time of year. This monster, mysteriously fully anger and yet fully shame, lets us feel better about the nice clean line we draw between us and them. It tells us we don’t have to empathize with anyone who doesn’t believe like us. It says we don’t have to care. This thing grows and feeds and tells us that anyone who doesn’t share our beliefs must be the enemy. Never mind that we wrestle with the same unbelief more often than we want to admit.

So we give this thing a name, The War On Christmas. The War on Christmas wakes up around Halloween and shambles out of its cave looking for arguments about mangers and Christmas carols. We’re so quick to go to War over Christmas that we’ll find a fight somewhere whether anyone’s actually upset or not.

You can argue over whose fault it is. You can smugly say “Merry Christmas” to anyone audacious enough to wish you happy holidays. You can paint anyone who doesn’t believe like you believe into a corner with Ahaz and Hitler and people who drive too slow in the passing lane, then write them off as less than you. But you should know God doesn’t. He has a different name for The War on Christmas. He just calls it sin. Then He reminds us what He does to sin. He forgives it. He reminds us that the virgin birth was for sinners.

The virgin birth was a sign for Ahaz. The Lord said to Ahaz, that evil king who probably would have liked that Starbucks cup with no snowflakes, “Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel (Isaiah 7:14).” Immanuel means God with us. This God promised Ahaz, an evil, sinful, monster of a human being that He would love him and make His home with him. He would even be born Ahaz’s line and lineage.

Immanuel means God empathizes with sinners, even when sinners have a hard time with empathy. We don’t want to see our enemy as like us. We don’t want to feel as they feel. We don’t want to be the same kind of human they are. But all of this addressed by God who does empathize, who comes down from heaven to feel what we feel, to be the same kind of human we are. He is fully God, yet becomes fully man to know the weight of our War on Christmas, the anger, the fear, the shame, and to call it by its real name. Sin. Then He does something about it. This Immanuel was called Jesus, who would save His people from their sins.

So Jesus took the War on Christmas, and every other sin we have fancy names for, all the way to the cross and paid for them. It wasn’t with gold or silver but with His holy, precious blood and His innocent suffering and death, that we sinners would be His own and live under Him in His kingdom and serve Him in everlasting righteousness, innocence, and blessedness, just as He is risen from the dead, lives and reigns to all eternity.

All of this language comes to a head on Christmas morning, for to us a child is born, to us a Son is given; and the government shall be upon His shoulder, and His name shall be called, among other incredible things, the Prince of Peace. Christmas means The Prince of Peace is born. The Prince of Peace, laid in a manger, will usher in His Kingdom of Peace by His death and resurrection.

The Angels who sang of His birth to shepherds in the fields sang “Glory to God in the Highest, and on earth peace among those with whom He is pleased!” Peace. Your sin is died for, and so removed, as far as the east is from the west. This peace is for shepherds, and sinners, and Ahaz, and even you. There is no war on Christmas. Only Peace. Christ atoned for that sin and every other and removed it. You are forgiven. God is pleased with you. We live in His peace, finding forgiveness for our sins and comfort in the fact that God’s love is so powerful that it takes flesh and comes down to bear us sinners unto life everlasting.

As for Mary, Blessed is she among women. God knew what she would be called, and named her blessed for it. She is the butt of the joke that birthed salvation for us sinners. She is the Mother of God, the blessed Virgin, the Queen of Peace. This peace is as real as the God-child she bore and named Jesus. There is no more war on Christmas.

there is no war on Christmas

Don’t measure other people’s problems.

My job presupposes I’ll be with people on the worst day of their lives.  I’ve seen loss, suffering, and debilitation grind folks back into the dust they came from. I’ve seen heartlessness, ego, and selfishness demolish others until the mere thought of a tomorrow is more terrifying than the last great enemy. I’ve seen the wages of sin.  I guess I’m not that special. We’ve all seen that.

Then we categorize it.  Some bad days are worse than others.  We’re pretty good at ranking them.  Why can’t we stop playing an internal game of would you rather?  Abuse or abandonment?  Disappoint the ones you love or be disappointed?  Sometimes it’s a tough call.    Cancer or late to work? Losing a child or a boy who doesn’t like you back? Sometimes it’s not.

Still, as much as we think about each other’s problems, it doesn’t give us more compassion.  If anything, it gives us less. Some people’s problems just don’t seem like a big a deal. Sometimes our own seem insignificant.  It’s easy to decide some are just unimportant.  It won’t mean a thing in 100 years. It won’t even change your plans for the rest of the day. Someone else has it worse. It’s their own fault. Who really cares?

God does.  Every worst day ever can be traced back to something we call sin.  Sin breaks stuff. Adam’s sin broke creation.  Ours destroy ourselves and each other. Abuse, abandonment, disappointment.  All if it hurts someone.  The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is life everlasting in Christ Jesus our lord. Christ died for all the sins of the world. The ones you’ve done, and the ones done to you. The big ones and the ones that hardly register on our radar.  Each one was enough to bring God to a cross.  When you or anyone else is having the worst day of their life, it isn’t a contest. Don’t measure other people’s problems.  Measure the mercy God has toward them.

He thought what they’re going through is significant enough to do something about, whether or not it wins that dark game of would you rather. When you see someone you’re convinced is making a big deal out of nothing, hear their complaints for what they really are. Each one is a need for help, forgiveness, and peace answered by a merciful God who had compassion enough to bleed and die to save them.  God doesn’t only die for people sinned against. He even died for the sinners. Even when they’re in a mess they made themselves.  Sometimes I struggle to have compassion, but God doesn’t.  If you want to see the depth of His compassion look to the cross. No matter how big or small you think someone’s problem is, look to the cross in there you’ll see a God who loves them so much that he would die to save them from it. It’s something worthy of compassion.

That cross isn’t just the source of compassion.  It was the worst day of your life too, where God bore every sin that broke and ruined and destroyed. Every wage from Adam’s sin that bore death and disease and calamity.  There God called the worst day of your life finished. Conquered.  Defeated. We call it good Friday.  Jesus bore the worst day of your life into the grave and rose 3 days later victorious over it. Christ is risen.  The worst day of your life can’t change that fact. So commend it all to His care. He is faithful to comfort, to forgive.  To grant life that death cannot end.  To raise us up whole long after the sun has set on the worst day.  It doesn’t matter if someone else has it worse. It matters Christ saved us from it.

Don’t measure other people’s problems.

be in the world but not of yourself.

Christians are in the world but not of the world. It’s a churchy catch-all to difficult questions that always boil down to the same thing. “Is this allowed?” It’s an answer that sounds religiousy and lets you avoid actually answering tough questions about things that make us uncomfortable. For example, morality, right and wrong, and God’s law. That’s a twofer. It’s even from the bible. Sort of…

“I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world.” (John 17:14–18)

It’s easy, just watch.  I want to go to a concert but I think the lyrics to the music are inappropriate. In the world, but not of the world.  So, instead of listening to people sing about how much they love drugs, go to a show in some church where they sing about how much they love Jesus. Even though it’s not actually in the world because the rest of the world didn’t show up. They knew it wouldn’t hold a bic lighter to the real thing. Still, you can have your cake and eat it too. Sort of…

Or maybe your church talks a lot about how horrible dressing immodestly is. Instead of a difficult conversation about Christian freedom, love for neighbor, and a dark history where this was used not to elevate and honor women but demean them, just say ‘in the world but not of the world’. Then, dress how the world dresses, but incorporate a bedazzled cross to cancel it out. Sort of like eating ice cream while walking on the treadmill. That sort of works, right? No?

It doesn’t work because ‘In the world but not of the world’ assumes God’s law changes between heaven and here, and it’s our job to bridge the gap by finding loopholes. It doesn’t and it’s not. Morality doesn’t cease to exist with bedazzled crosses. The world won’t love praise bands that sing about something they don’t believe in. It doesn’t work because in all of it we completely ignore Jesus. This side of glory we can’t fulfill God’s law. That’s why we look for loopholes. Jesus points to something in the world but not of the world to measure righteousness. Himself. Not loopholes. Love.

The point isn’t that Christians take a detour on earth before going to heaven. It’s that Jesus left heaven behind, took flesh and came to earth. God abides on earth, friend of sinners, and help of the helpless. He loved you by dying on the cross to keep you from the evil one and make you holy.

Sanctification means made holy. Holiness doesn’t come from bedazzled crosses on every tanktop, but one bloody one where God died for you. We are baptized into that cross. Baptism unites us in death and resurrection to Jesus. We are in the world as He is in the world. Called to love each other as He loved us. But we are not of the world as He is not either. We’re tied to a resurrection that conquers the sins we don’t’ have to excuse anymore. They’re forgiven, washed away in the blood of Jesus. We’re free from loopholes. We’re joined in love. We’re baptized.

be in the world but not of yourself.

we are beggars.

He died an outlaw in the same little town he was born in. They found a scrap of paper with scribbled writing in his pocket. “We are beggars. This is true.

Still, he changed the world. Not in a ‘you mean everything to me’ pop ballad way. In a ‘you’re allowed to believe differently than your government’ kind of way. A ‘you can read the bible in your own language’ kind of way. A ‘there is a church that preaches the gospel purely and administers the sacraments rightly’ kind of way.  Martin Luther. 500 years ago he nailed 95 thesis to the door of a cathedral and sparked the reformation.  Emperors gave him their ear. Magistrates followed his advice. There’s a middling denomination that loves to argue on the internet in his name. That last part isn’t so impressive, but Luther was.  He died thinking this. “We are beggars.”  

We have hundreds of writings from him. Thousands of pages.  This might not be his most exhaustive treatment on a topic, but it’s profound enough.  It isn’t just a statement on the our sinful, broken nature. It’s a call to look up. After all, beggars can’t be choosers.

It’s too easy to limit God to the being that’s stronger than you. It’s too common to say we Get what we deserve. It’s too simple to look around at the misery and death in the world and assume beggars can never hope for more than scraps.  But begging isn’t about you.

Luther meant more than ‘you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit’.  He meant it’s not about you at all. Begging is not about what you can earn or buy. It’s not even about what you deserve. It’s about the One you’re begging. Begging relies totally on the one you ask.  What kind of God do you have?

The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.
– 1 Timothy 1:15

God doesn’t reveal Himself in power, but in mercy.  We are beggars, but God is merciful. This is the Lutheranism.  We are beggars. We dare to look to mercy instead of works.  We dare to trust in something bigger than ourselves.  We see our pride ground to dust and find identity in Christ.  We dare to find hope in audacious places like water and word. Lutheranism isn’t about Luther. It isn’t a wholesale endorsement of everything he ever did or said.  It’s about Jesus.  It’s about mercy.

Christianity isn’t behaving until you earn something nice from Him.  It’s begging, and when you know who your God is, it’s comfort. Even to dying men.   God is merciful enough to do more than drop care packages from heaven to the people who deserve them.  He takes flesh and climbs down and bears sin for you upon a cross.  He pays for everything we beg Him for with holy blood.  He dies and rises for you, not because of who you are, but because of who He is.  We are beggars, but Jesus is merciful.  We beg based on a gift already given. We pray based on an identity He insists we have. He commands us to be baptized. He demands we be brought to Him and given life.   He doesn’t hide in heaven and wait for us to earn our place with Him.  He descends to place Himself right into the midst of everything going wrong in our lives, the things done to us and the things we did to ourselves and each other, and carries us out of this valley of death unto life.

So we beg a God who will not be far off.  He answers in the same blood that purchased us release. We eat and drink the Eucharist and know where our God is and more, who He is. Mercy.

we are beggars.

God lives in His own anthill.

I was outside playing with my kids.  The sun was shining. Their laughter sounded like adventure and joy.  It smelled like summer.  My 2 year old ran up to me and said what I’m now convinced was “Zeke step on bug make paint”.  OK? Interpreting toddler is more art than science.   I simultaneously want her to talk that way forever because “awwww” and wish she’d grow out of because “what does that even mean?” Her older brother explained it.  He squealed as he stomped on a big red bug and drug his shoe backwards.  The bug literally popped. I heard it. It left behind a mixed streak of red, black, and concupiscence on the sidewalk.

Concupiscence: noun
1) the inclination to sin.
2) an inherited disease and original vice that leaves streaks of “paint” on the sidewalk.

It was jarring. This is the sweet boy I tuck in at night. His heart is bigger than his eyes, wide with wonder. Pop. This sweet boy destroyed something alive to make paint out of bug guts because playing baseball got boring. It wasn’t that I started sleeping with one eye open just in case he decided to “paint” with daddy. It was cruel, but it was just a bug. I got over it and we got back to playing. It was just a bug to me too.  What bothers me isn’t the paint. I, a poor miserable sinner, made the same discovery with lightning bugs 30 years ago. The paint glowed in the dark.  Bugs live longer when bored kids don’t notice them. The thing that bugs me (sorry, had to)  is the notion that we must look about that size to God. What are we to The divine? Pop.

Sometimes a God who causes the kinds of things we go through doesn’t seem so different from a kid holding a magnifying glass over an anthill because it’s slightly more entertaining than daytime TV.  What really seals it is how creative He is. It just seems cruel.  We don’t just get a rolled up newspaper for crossing into His line of sight, we get small cell cancer. We get to bury our own children. We get to languish for months and years, praying all the while for help, and wondering why God is doing this to us.  We suffer.

What are we to the divine? Or more honestly, what is the divine to us?  His thoughts are not our thoughts. His ways are not our ways. So when I try to figure out why His anthill is on fire, I fill in what I don’t understand with the things I think I do.  Myself. What would I do to bugs?  Pop.  It doesn’t work though.  Even though I sleep like a baby after painting with lighting bugs when I’m bored, I’d never make myself a bug to be squashed. That’s exactly what He did.

 It has been testified somewhere, “What is man, that you are mindful of him, or the son of man, that you care for him?” You made him for a little while lower than the angels; you have crowned him with glory and honor, putting everything in subjection under his feet.” Now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control. At present, we do not yet see everything in subjection to him. But we see him who for a little while was made lower than the angels, namely Jesus, crowned with glory and honor because of the suffering of death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone. For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering. Hebrews 2:6-10

What are we to the divine? Something so precious He would make Himself like us. God became man to bear all the evil we do to each other and to Him. All the cruelty that exists not in Him but in us. I am the cruelty that can disregard anything I believe to be different or smaller or insignificant. We are the cruelty that can sleep soundly after committing atrocities because we’re convinced they aren’t big enough to matter.  Ours is the desire to be bigger, but God became smaller to save us. God became man to bear our suffer for us. He made Himself to live in His own anthill, to suffer all the fires and pains and deaths on a cross.  This is how He brings us through suffering to glory.  He swallowed our death.  God isn’t a kid with an anthill because He has compassion enough to save us by bearing the heat Himself.  The anthill is on fire. Christians don’t deny that. Our sin breaks stuff. So God, in mercy, comes down to live in His own burning anthill to rescue and save.

Look to the cross of Christ and there you’ll start to see it. This is where Jesus is crowned with glory and honor.  He won everything promised.  Hope. Life. Salvation.  This is a cruel world, but God won’t be far from it. He’ll be the one holding it up by bearing the weight of sin on His own shoulders. He’ll be the one who makes us perfect through His suffering. He’ll be the one baptizing sinners and raising them up on the last day free from cruelty, sin, and death.

God lives in His own anthill.

my insecurities runneth over.

Everyone has insecurities.  I think?  Hopefully it’s not just me. I don’t know.  They’re hard to talk about.  Maybe it’s because the first reaction to this grand revelation is usually an inner dialogue that recites some form of “maybe, but not like mine.” It probably says something about the power of insecurity that as much as I hate it, I insist I have more than you.  What really makes them so wicked is that thinking about them makes them worse, but oddly enough, ignoring them only seems to feed them too. They breed in the void, the unanswered, and the unaddressed.

Maybe it would be easier if they always looked the same. Insecurity is the root that sprouts false bravado and cowering fear, absolute conformity and ridiculous eccentricity.  The only thing in common is the source.  Insecurities are born at the intersection of this world’s need to measure everything and the suspicion, or even objective knowledge, that we just don’t measure up.  

Am I good enough? attractive enough? Smart enough? Am I funny enough that people will like me anyway?  The word enough lurks near every insecurity. Lutherans call that a law word. The law is the standard. It’s how things are supposed to be.  Standards measure.  Standards uncover weakness and failure. It’s their job. Do we measure up enough?

The law is good. I acknowledge it with every wish to measure up.  God says “You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” I wish I was too. Things would go better. I daydream about it, but this side of glory it seems like the only way to feel good ourselves is to convince ourselves that the standards aren’t real.  Either find excuses that lower the bar or people who have screwed up worse than us until we don’t feel so bad anymore.

God wasn’t kidding about the whole “be perfect” thing. Falling short of the standard hurts. It leaves people wanting, suffering, and dying. It’s why I still can’t forget stupid things I did in 6th grade. Lutherans call that sin. Paul says “if it had not been for the law, I would not have known sin.” I don’t measure up to perfect.  That just leaves me, my insecurities, and all the damage that stems from all of it. Sin breaks stuff.

So go grab a bible. Try to figure out how to be better. Try to write yourself into the scriptures. I tried that, but my insecurities went right along.  The Lord might be a shepherd, but I still want. He must not be mine.  Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I’m afraid of heights, let alone evil.  Thy rod and staff don’t comfort me.  My insecurities runneth over.

If you insist on reading yourself into the bible until you find a way to conquer your insecurities, it’s not going to work.  The bible is not about you. The bible is about Jesus for you.  You can’t will insecurity out of existence. It can only be conquered by love and trust. Insecurities must be defeated by an imposed identity that differs from what I see in the mirror. So God tells you who you really are.  A proclaimed truth meets quiet insecurities.  John sees it for what it is.

And now, little children, abide in him, so that when he appears we may have confidence and not shrink from him in shame at his coming. If you know that he is righteous, you may be sure that everyone who practices righteousness has been born of him. See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.
~ 1 John 2:28–3:3

Your righteousness isn’t measured. It’s given. Right along with a new identity that washes away sin and shame and insecurity. You are children of God now. He made it so.  You can know it.  You are baptized. Jesus loves you so much that He would trade His life for everything your insecurities call worthless. The cross shows your value.  The cost has been paid. Not in gold or silver, but in holy and precious blood.  The savior died for you. That’s how precious you are. Confidence won’t come from looking inward and trying to measure up, but from looking to His cross and seeing what He has made us to be. Forgiven. Holy. Righteous. Loved.

God’s word is more than just a measuring stick. It is the gospel. It is the story of a God who loved you enough to declare you more than ‘better than someone else’. You’re His beloved child.  God’s church will not be a house of false compliments. We will not excuse the standards or help you find new people to look down on. We are church.  You’re welcome here, and so are your insecurities. There’s forgiveness for everything that they whisper about. The only word I never want to hear is ‘enough’. Forget the word enough. We have all. ALL your sins are paid for by Christ’s death.  They’re gone.  Be perfect. And so you are.  Not on your own. Not by your works, but by His grace.  He meets each insecurity with a cup that runneth over. He fills it with the very blood that washes you clean.   This is enough to give hope that endures. This is enough to approach the throne of grace in confidence. This is enough to know that whatever I think about myself, God thinks I’m worth calling His baptized child.

my insecurities runneth over.

When we forget, God still remembers.

I visit a lot of nursing homes. There are a few staples in each room. A well-worn chair. A
photo album. An old bible. A few trinkets with more sentimental value than anyone on Antique Roadshow could ever know. They remind folks of home. Of family. Of God. Until they can’t. Alzheimer’s is an evil thing.

Technically, it forms insoluble plaques between neurons in the brain causing memory loss. I Googled that, but WebMD doesn’t talk about how Alzheimer’s causes a layer of dust to cover bibles that used to be open every day.  I’ve known armchair theologians who chewed the meat of the scripture lose years of insight and brought back to the milk little children move away from.

I didn’t see the part where family portraits become stock photos that came with the frame. Or where precious tokens become junk because nobody remembers what made them so special anymore. I’ve watched this disease assault Christians and their families. I’ve watched people cope with the loss of a loved one even while they sit unknowing in a chair 2 feet away because of a living death called Alzheimer’s.  They’re not dead, but the part of them that shared stories and jokes is gone.  So even while we tend to the body, even while we do our best to offer gestures of love that go unrecognized, we are ground down bit by bit. Forgetting is heartbreaking.

I wonder if the prophet Isaiah didn’t know someone who suffered this. WebMD wouldn’t have helped, but then again, it doesn’t now. Not for this. So the prophet wrote,

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me. (Isaiah 49:15-16)”

Sometimes we forget, but God remembers. When the identity seems to be slipping away from someone you love so much, look to the Jesus who has carved our memory into the palms us His hands with nails from a cross.  See the identity that cannot be taken.  We are the ones Jesus bled and died for. We are the ones washed clean in that blood. We are the baptized, united with Christ in His death and so certainly united with Him in His resurrection.

Here’s the ugly truth, this world is so busted up by something called sin that it changes us.  Living in pain, disease, sin and addiction, warps our personalities in time.  But we will not be known by the worst the devil, the world, and our own sinful flesh can do to us. We will be known by the nail marks in our Christ’s hands.  We will be known by His love for us that was willing to bear all the same pains unto death to conquer them for us.  We will be known by His resurrection.  We will be known by the risen Jesus who has set us free from all of it.  Even risen, He still has nail marks in His hands. They are to remember you and yours. They recall the sacrifice that brings us with Him unto glory.  They are the sign that even while we despair in this world, our Lord has not forgotten us. He remembers.

So we do the things that come from this sacrifice.  We cling to the things that remind us who we really are. We are children of God. We pray the Lord’s Prayer. We sing hymns and pray psalms.  We cross ourselves until our pastor has to do it for us in a Benediction that yields peace.  There’s a reason Christians do these things every day.  The milk of the scripture is something children move on from to ask weighty questions, but when we need to fall back on it it’s still there.  We are the baptized, engraved on the palms of His hands. Christ is risen. We will rise, free from all of the evils in this world.  Restored in mind and body alike.  Even now, while they grab at us, know we are held in Christ’s nail marked hands.

When we forget, God still remembers.

God demands too much.

Hey remember that time God told Abraham to abort his son? Said to make him carry the wood for his own pyre up the mountain. Lay him on it. Kill him with a knife. Set him on fire. If you want to talk about a loving God, probably don’t start here. Really, this is the one story I hear over and over again whenever anyone wants to prove just how monstrous God is and how messed up His people are.

Most of the time We try to explain it away. We hate it too. It’s universally appalling. We try to ignore the fact that Abraham was really going to do it. He had the knife in his hand. Even if Isaac lived, he lived knowing his dad was cool with killing him if the voice from the sky said so.   This point we’re desperate for a positive spin. We encourage each other to have the kind of faith Abraham had.  The problem is, it sounds pretty hollow when we clearly spend the whole time praying we would never have to be in a position to have that much faith ourselves.

If you want me to be honest, my short answer is just no. No. I would not do this thing. I can’t. It’s not virtue signaling. I just don’t have it in me. If the sky opened up and God’s voice boomed down, I would say no. The cost is just too high. Even though I hate the idea of God demanding child sacrifice, even though I wouldn’t do it and don’t even want to, God still demanded it.

There’s no getting around it.  I believe God is loving, but that doesn’t make the demand here any less harsh.  I’m usually fine with God punishing people, as long as I agree with Him that it’s wrong. As long as it looks fair. As long as it’s someone else.  It’s a lot harder when it’s us. It’s worse when God demands something we can’t give.

I won’t make excuses for this. I won’t explain it away. God demanded Abraham sacrifice his son Isaac. That’s what the law does. It demands. It accuses. It’s perfect, and I’m not. His perfection is a lot purer than mine and He won’t change the rules just for me. If God is loving, He’s also just.

You don’t have to like it, but you can’t escape it either.  When you try to reason away God’s law, dumb it down, or paint over it so it’s more palatable it never works out.  The world hates God’s law.  When you pretend it doesn’t exist in the hopes they’ll sign on, the world just scoffs and does its own thing anyway.  We end up feeling slimy for trying to be disingenuous. It only gets worse from there.

The simplest explanation is usually the right one. If you’re the creator, I suppose you get to make the rules. Your roof, your rules. His world, His law. His law just happens to say “Don’t pimp your wife out to the king of Egypt because you’re afraid of him. Twice.” And “Don’t have an illegitimate child by the maid to force God’s hand because you don’t like how long He’s taking to work.”  Simple stuff really.  If you told the story from Sarah’s perspective this is a pretty abusive marriage. Sin breaks stuff. There are consequences that we can’t always fix. The wages of sin is death.  The law will always look barbaric underneath every excuse and attempt to sugarcoat it because at the end of the day the cost of failure is just too high.  A just God and a loving God don’t seem to mesh.

There’s really only one way to make it work.  It’s written on the name of the mountain. The Lord will provide. God demands more than we can give, but His word provides everything it demands.  When God’s word demanded too much of Abraham, He provided that too. Even a sacrifice.

Abraham looked up. And behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns.  Abraham was right. God will provide the lamb that wears the crown of thorns.

God’s Word demands that the sins which hurt our neighbor, destroy ourselves, and war against God be paid for with the highest of cost. So God’s word provides it. God sent His own son to bleed for you, to die on a cross for you, and to conquer death for you. God, in all of His justice, is also loving.  So He made the two meet on the cross.  Look to the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. He paid for every last sin we bury deep down, every last sin we can’t fix, and every last one we’re not even sure we want to. He died for you. It is finished. You are forgiven.

On the mount of the Lord it shall be provided. God sent His son to the mount of Calvary for Abraham, for Isaac, and for you to spare you from death by bearing it Himself and destroying it from the inside out.  He loves you too much to see you try to cover what you can’t.  He pays it for you.  It’s not fair, but it is just.  It’s not fair, but it is love.

Instead of trying so hard to deal with the knife in Abraham’s hand, look to the fact that the lord provides.  It’s what Abraham was hoping for too. He provided Isaac against every odd. He was born to an old lady after years and years of heartbreak.  He spared Abraham from every terrible thing he’d done. Over and over again, Abraham saw that the Lord provides.  He says it himself.  God will provide the lamb. He tells the young men who went with him to that mountain that somehow, two people will come back down.  “We will return to you.”  I can’t do that. Abraham can’t either. God can though.  And more, He has.

Look to Calvary. On the mount of the Lord it shall be provided. Forgiveness for every evil that writes checks we can’t cash. Hope for a victory over everything we can’t survive on our own, and life that death cannot destroy.

God demands too much.